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Keegan’s Kravings


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Hey there, I’m Keegan Oldham. As a teenage boy I know quite a bit about food and eating. My job is to find the greatest and worst food out there so you the reader can try it out for yourselves.

There is no worse organization in this world than Subway. Never have I left a building with more hatred for mankind than when I left Subway. The first thing you see when you enter a Subway is 2 or 3 employees trying to make sandwiches for several hungry people without the time or energy to make their own sandwich at home. So a mass crowd of hungry people arrive with money in their hands, but Subway employees care so little that the line could be out the door, and they would still act like it’s their first time making a sandwich. When it is finally your turn to order, it doesn’t matter what you ask for you will have to repeat yourself four times to make it clear what you just want for lunch.

Then, when you ask for sandwich toasted to get more texture than “squish,” they will leave your sandwich in for 20 seconds too long as they have started “helping” the person behind you. When charred bread leaves the toaster, an employee will ask, “What would you like on that?” It doesn’t matter what you ask for, they will only put one of two amounts on your sandwich: enough to feed a small lizard, or enough to feed the entirety of China.

Then, any slightly odd ingredient or combination will bring judgement from the person making sandwich. You ask for guacamole? You’d better expect to see the entire staff look at you with raised eyebrows and hear the restaurant go quiet because, “Guacamole costs extra. Are you sure?” I’m certain I would like guac on my sandwich. I’m sure I don’t look so poor that I can’t afford the 75-cent extra ingredient.

That brings me to the topic of price. For the longest time Subway advertised the $5 foot-long, but I have yet to see even a single restaurant where that is true. A foot-long actually costs a good $8-$9 depending on whether or not you ordered guac.

If you disagree or feel you would like to share your bad experiences with Subway, feel free to write to the WSS newspaper. You may place your letters in the locker outside room 123 or email [email protected]

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Keegan’s Kravings